(Note from Daven:  I saw this in a email at one point, and it was funny enough to make me go looking for it on the Net.  I hope you enjoy it, since it’s all true.  ROFL)

WHY GOD WOULD NEVER RECEIVE TENURE

By Some Professor Somewhere

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn’t published in a refereed journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjetcs.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
11. When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning the wrong subject.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
17. He insisted on a pass/fail grading system, in conflict with official policy requiring A-F.