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HomePosts, Updates Thank you Mary.


Thank you Mary.

Erin

I know the God he’s talking about isn’t mine, but it doesn’t matter. This song sums up so much of how I feel about Mary that it’s stupefying. After 14 years, I still can’t breathe without her. I get up in the morning because of her. I eat because of her. I reach for and do and be because of and for her. Left to myself, I think I would just disappear into the mists.

I can’t ever repay the wonderful incredible gift that she gave me, herself. I’ll always be in debt to her for that, and I hope I never get out of that debt. She is my life, my universe, my everything and she is my sister-self that I missed when I was 12 and despaired of finding at 22. Then, incredibly, wonderfully, amazingly, she entered my life, and I’ve never been the same. I’m healed and whole now, all because of one woman.

She found this song at one point, and I never really listened to it until recently. But it says it all.

Bless the Broken Road
Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I’d like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You’ve been there you understand
It’s all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I’m just rollin home
Into my lover’s arm’s
This much I know is true
That God Bless the Broken Road
That led me straight to you

That God Bless the Broken Road
That led my straight to you

Mary, I love you with all my heart and soul. NEVER doubt that. I would only exist without you. You are an incredible woman.

You hold me up as the example of what a Man is? I hold you up as that example for a Woman. You are my Goddess and my heart. I don’t think I can ever tell you with words how incredible you are or how much I love you. I am your slave and your partner and I hope that you ALWAYS remember that.

The casual kindness you show to everyone around you speaks volumes for the depths of your care. Each and every scar on your soul that I caused makes me wish to commit hara-kiri in attonement, and the salves I have helped you put on the scars others left are not nearly enough to make up for it.

You make me feel like a man, a person who has the complete trust of another human being, and I want to hold you gently, but firmly, and take any blow that comes at MaErryic to spare you the pain of that blow. I feel diminished when you are not with me.

God, I can’t see through my wattery eyes right now.

I love you babe. Always and Forever….

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One Response to “Thank you Mary.”

  1. Mary says:

    Now for the part my love hasn’t said. (Like any good wife you think I would let him have the last word? feh!)

    Most beloved, breath, heart, life and soul. YOU have made me what I am. You have let me flower and grow in any direction I chose to explore with your positive words and utter support for anything I chose to do.

    I found that song and have sung it to you for months now because of the truth of it. Others who broke my heart, who said they were what they weren’t taught me to value you and your amazing willing and open heart.

    I have given you pain too, made you cry, hurt your heart. Each time it has happened I have wanted to cut out my tongue, beat myself bloody, leave to protect you do ANY THING to make you stop hurting including mayhem and murder. This includes mayhem and murder of anyone that causes you the slightest of disturbance in anyway as you know.

    I wish that I could make you feel what I feel about you directly and completely, but I don’t know that the technology is ready yet and you would be high as a kite.

    I cherish you more and more because:

    After 14 years we still laugh together not at each other.

    After 1 child we haven’t killed each other over differing parenting styles but continue to TALK to each other.

    YOU LISTEN thoughtfully respectfully and openly to me no matter how harebrained and idea I have.

    That you are 15 times better at doing that than I am.

    YOU THINK about things and are open to other ideas and interpetaions of things.

    You love me. I am constantly astonished by the idea that anyone can be around me more than 3 days in a row and not want to kill me. After 14 years you not only don’t hate me, you love me. I am not sure why but I don’t ask questions about it. I am thrilled that it so and that you constantly do things like this essay.

    You continue to learn and grow and a person, a spiritual leader, a man, father and husband.

    There are about 1,000 more reasons, but I have to get some work done today.

    Always and forever,

    Mary

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