…or is that “Late’ night musings” over a cup of coffee? Hmmmm….
Situations happening around me, some I’m involved in, others I’m not. most times I want to grab those people who are letting those situations happen and I wish to shake them and go “I DON’T FREAKING CARE!” Not about their situation, not about their stress about their situation.
It’s incredible that 98% of these “end of the world” situations will be gone in a week and it will be something else.
Unfortunately 2% of those will be around for a while, causing problems. They usually have first, middle and surnames attached to them. It’s all I can do to not grab them by their shirtfronts, shake them till teeth rattle and scream “you want EMO?!?! You want something to stay up nights worrying about??? You want things to lose hair and teeth over? Get a family and actually feel responsible for someone else for once!” But these kids (and they all tend to be children that are about 5-10 or more years younger than I am) have no clue, couldn’t buy one if you gave them the quarters and pointed them to the machine.
Sometimes I feel so helpless. I watch the days go by and find myself scoring my life by what I failed to do rather than what I did. Most times, I want to shoot myself.
Earlier I found that I’m reacting baddly to some people, and that circle is getting wider and wider. Someone responded by saying “another piece of wisdom from Daven” and I wanted to take their head off for being really snarky and mean. For some reason it hit me that they were being snide and sarcastic. But I quickly came to the conclusion that they meant it, and not in a bad way.
I also find that I don’t want to sleep. I spend 9 hours at work, and when I get home I’m out within 4 or 5 hours. This means that the majority of my life is made up of work. At a job I am coming to care less and less for. I’ll do it, but it means less and less to me.
Maybe I just need to have a nervous breakdown, go to the funny farm and get it over with.