How to describe these last few days?
Exhillarating, thrilling, exhausting, nerve-wracking, I don’t know….
As you know, Kenn White is here. He’s the head of the ODU. He came here specifically so we could talk, come to a meeting of the minds, determine the direction of the Order to come. I was initiated into the ODU as a full member now, and passed my Foclac test as well.
Now I’m in the College of Hazel, and start my studies in poetry, history, writing, singing, instruments, and all that goes with the title of being “bard”.
This past several months, I have accomplished a LOT. I managed to go through a course of study that normally takes a year or more. I did it in about 6 months or so. Wow.
The transformation hasn’t hit me yet, I don’t feel much different since the initiation only marked the transition from one point to another. It turns out that I’m the only current member who is not in Salt Lake City. So that’s something else now.
It’s all so scattered in my head right now. I’m supposed to be excited, feel like a new person, a new man, but I really and truly don’t feel differently.
What I feel more than that is nervous. Nervous that I’m not going to be what I need to be, that I’ll fail or that Kenn will find fault with my hospitality. This is a huge step that I’m taking, and it’s a needed one.
I don’t regret taking it. NEVER. I’m worried that I’ll fail. And truthfully I’m sure that at one time or another I will fail, make a wrong decision, or something. Thinking about it, I’m not worried that I will make a wrong decision, as fail Kenn. That’s the core of my worry.
But there’s nothing to do but to do it now. I’m committed now.
Then, add to that the fact that Mark V has returned. Why, I have no clue, but I’ll be adding an addition to the page about him detailing what is happening now. Supid, stupid, stupid is what is going on in short.