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Tag Archives: Humor

Nine Sacred Woods

A conversation that happened years ago, that I thought was funny as hell, and still think is great:

Parts of the conversation sorted by color….

 

By the way, do you even know what the Nine sacred woods are? No fair peeking.

Oh, wait, I know this one…

  1. Morning wood
  2. Afternoon wood
  3. Evening wood
  4. Midnight wood
  5. “I gotta pee, dammit” wood
  6. Embarassing first-date wood
  7. New Britney Spears video wood
  8. Yeah, I guess Orlando Bloom really is hot wood
  9. Kids are coming up the stairs let’s finish this *quick* wood

I guess the “10. No reason just random wood” wood isn’t in th ere, but what about the “11. Embarrasing called to the blackboard wood” wood? Where does it go?

Not all woods are sacred woods.

 

Originally posted 2011-12-27 21:16:24. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Jesus has been lost again

I went looking for this today because I didn’t remember it all, but it is so perfect that I wanted to share here again, just so that you can all remember along with me and enjoy it again.

So, I’m standing at a bus stop and they pull up. A car load of well meaning, bible thumping nut cases that are just frantic! The middle aged professionally dressed woman rushes forward…She takes my arm and with trembling voices she asks….”Have you found Jesus?” Her eyes plead with an urgency that is out of proportion to a bus stop.

Now normally I just politely decline the sermon, and free religious paperwork that such folk pawn off on unsuspecting by-standers. But, unfortunately for her, she is the fourth car to accost me in the last 9 minutes. So by now I’m beginning to wonder what the heck is wrong with these people. I mean if its not Christians it is the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Can a simple Druid get no peace?

So calmly as I can muster, without being sarcastic I reply, “You people lost him, again??”

Who will it be?

This is a funny thing I got a while back. It’s been kicking around on my hard drive for ages. Finally, on this day of Yule with the Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse (all at the same time), the stars have aligned correctly for me to share this with you all.

Please note, I do not take any responsibility for any insanity you may experience as a result of this, and I will not do anything to help you. You read this all at your own peril, or perfection, whichever you prefer.

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