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Love the one you're with

Erin

You know, not a lot of poeple appreceiate the beauty of this song by Crosby, Stills and Nash. It is all about commitment.

“…and if you can’t be
with the one you love
Honey,
Love the one you’re with.”

Take time to pay attention to the person you are with. Make them the center of your universe. Make sure they know that you appreciate them. Take time to look at your time together and see if you have been taking them for granted.

I’ve been married 14 years today in my first marriage. It was the second marriage for Mary, and the last ten years of her marriage may as well have not happened. Her previous marriage was effectively over at year 5 and they stayed together ONLY for the kids. They were married for 15 years. I have one to go to tie him.

But, I am proud to say that if given a choice between him and me, Mary would choose me every day of the year. It’s not that I’m a better provider or a better lover or a better man, it’s simply that I pay attention and NEVER let her think that I take her for granted.

Things like flowers for no reason other than I saw them, holding and touching her because I can, kissing and not caring who is watching, cuddling with her at bedtime and writing poems to her because she’s breathing.

Those things show her that she is more important than anything else in my life.

One of the errors that HE made was that he kept saying that his family came first. But every time when it came to a choice between work and the family, work came first. So there was a string of broken promises and plans that were blown off. But his theory of “Family coming first” was that he worked 80 hours a week and killed himself to bring home a paycheck to provide for them all. THAT was “family coming first”.

I’ll leave work without a second thought should she need me. In some cases I’ll whine about it, but I will be with her if she needs me. And she doesn’t take advantage of that either.

Loving Mary is easy, she makes it so simple to do so. Giving and concerned and touching and helpful, all those combine in this person I was lucky enough to coax to my heart.

This is from my livejournal entry:

Well, fourteen years ago today, at about 4:20 or so, I said “I Do.”

It was in a Justice of the Peace’s office since we couldn’t afford a chappel wedding, and Mary and I eloped. My mother was nuts with trying to get us to do the wedding we wanted her way, and we refused. So instead of letting her attend a ceremony, we denied her the ceremony completely.

I can’t say I remember much of that day, but I do remember some things:

My best man not showing up because he got lost.
Almost being late to the office.
My granddaughter eating the wedding boquet (she was about 1 year old).
Our roommate (the lady we were staying with) standing up as “best man” or a witness.
Mary’s eyes.
Her asking me multiple times if I wanted to back out.
My heart hurting from love.
It raining outside.
Not hearing the ceremony because I was busy looking in her eyes.
The JotP getting to my part, and about 20 seconds passing and me not realizing, then “waking” and saying “I do.” Then everyone laughing.
Us laughing on the way to the wedding reception at the Waffle Shoppe. In the rain, at night, 75 MPH on the freeway.
Her face.

I love my wife. I can’t see my life without her. Don’t know how I would cope.

Anyhow, silly update today, probably going to be like this for a few days.

No, I have no plans for tonight. Working, putting things up. Fixing stuff and sweat equity in our home.

But I have Mary. All is well. Life is worth living.

Happy Aniversary dear. I love you.

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