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HomePersonal, Posts, Rant Invisible Illnesses

Invisible Illnesses

I’m putting this post up here because it is something that I think is needed to be known by a large segment of the people. I had posted it for “Invisible Illness Week” on Dreamwidth, but since I was in the middle of updating this Journal and didn’t repost it. So here this is.

Love you all.

Invisible Illness Week

Sep. 13th, 2009 09:27 pm

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

  1. The illness I live with is: Type 2 Diabetes, PTSD, Dysthimia, Bad Lower Back due to arthritis, Hypertension, Plantar Fasciitis, Sleep apnea
  2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: Diabetes: 2001, PTSD: 2005, Dysthimia: 2005, Bad Lower Back: diagnosed in late 2009, Hypertension: 2001, Plantar Fasciitis: 2009, Sleep Apena: 2006
  3. But I had symptoms since: Dysthimia: all my life, PTSD: since about 15, all others recently
  4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: that I really AM sick
  5. Most people assume: I’m lazy and malingering
  6. The hardest part about mornings are: Actually getting out of bed. Most times I want to keep sleeping and not deal with the world at all. And I can get away with it since I don’t get good sleep anyhow.
  7. My favorite medical TV show is: House, but I haven’t seen it in forever.
  8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: Duh, my computer.
  9. The hardest part about nights are: Staying asleep. With the apnea, I tend to wake up about 50 times a night, and even with the CPAP machine, I still wake quite often.
  10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please): Two batches. Morning: about 20, Evening: 9 (3 for diabetes, 2 for hypertension, 8 for anti-inflammatory, 3 for pain, 2 for allergies, 1 for acid reflux, multivitamin, 1 aspirin, 1 for cholesterol, three for depression.)
  11. Regarding alternative treatments I: don’t care. There really is no working alternative treatment for what I have.
  12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: not to be sick at all. But if those where the only two choices, I’d take the invisible one
  13. Regarding working and career: Due to the PTSD, I can’t work. Most of the symptoms are mixed up with working, and I sabotage myself when I have a job.
  14. People would be surprised to know: Even with all this, I don’t believe I’m sick and that I can do anything else anyone can do. I’m constantly having my conditions shoved back in my face.
  15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: That I am actually normal and sick. Too often I have been told I’m malingering, and I’ve come to believe it.
  16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Get better. When I’m on my meds, I do feel better and I can accomplish many things that I could when I wasn’t on my meds.
  17. The commercials about my illness: Commercials don’t talk about Dysthimia. For them it’s only major depression.
  18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Eating candy
  19. It was really hard to have to give up: Sweets
  20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Blogging
  21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: I honestly don’t know. I’ve never felt normal before, so this is my *normal*, and I wouldn’t know what to do if I felt different from this.
  22. My illness has taught me: nothing. I know I should get a life lesson from it, but mostly my time is spent surviving and getting to the next day. I feel like a waste of flesh.
  23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: “You could be so much better if you just pulled yourself up by your bootstraps.” or something similar. The dysthymia means I can’t even find my bootstraps, and pulling myself up doesn’t work.
  24. But I love it when people: ???
  25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is:

    Don’t Quit

    When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
    When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
    When the funds are low and the debts are high,
    And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
    When care is pressing you down a bit,
    Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

    Life is queer with its twists and turns,
    As every one of us sometimes learns,
    And many a failure turns about,
    When he might have won had he stuck it out;
    Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
    You may succeed with another blow.

    Often the goal is nearer than,
    It seems to a faint and faltering man,
    Often the struggler has given up,
    When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
    And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
    How close he was to the golden crown.

    Success is failure turned inside out–
    The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
    And you never can tell how close you are,
    It may be near when it seems so far,
    So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
    It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

    – Author unknown

  26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: I know no one with the same diagnosis.
  27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: I’m not lazy.
  28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: just be there with me.
  29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: It seems to be trendy
  30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Grateful. Maybe if more people could understand this….
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