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Home Erin's Journal, Favorites, Personal How I Feel about Mary


How I Feel about Mary


Mary, my most recent picture of her, taken Early April 2003.  Click here for more pictures of her and my family.  Slow loading so be warned.Hello. I listen to your show (sporadically, I admit) on Mix 92.9 in Nashville TN. I got the impression that it’s syndicated, and I have never really had the impetuous to write you before.

However, tomorrow on November 21, 2001, it’s my 10th wedding anniversary. Let me tell you about myself and my dearling.

I’m 34 years old, and ever since I found girls at the age of 15, I thought I was doomed to spend a lifetime alone. I could never find a female that would think that I was pretty neat, or that held of value what I treasured. Books, thinking, spirituality (in metaphysics especially) and simply being a good person were many of the things I was looking for. All the girls I had exposure to were only concerned with dressing fashionable, dating as many people as possible, and getting married before graduating college.

It was worse once I graduated High School. See, I was Mormon, and according to what the Church taught you, you MUST marry inside the Church. However, I joined the Army and had a crisis of conscience, eventually leaving Mormonism in favor of being agnostic. Still no steady girl in my life, despite looking for a long time. At this point, somewhere around 22 or so, I had finally resigned myself to a lifetime alone. Most of those I knew were already paired off or married and loving it. Everyone in my High School class were married and in some cases divorced.

I had three disastrous relationships, one right after another. The worst was the last one in which my lady, the person I had hung all my hopes and dreams on, started dating my best friend. Blind luck kept all of us from becoming bitter enemies.

However, through out all this, I KNEW to the depths of my soul, that there was someone out there for me. I had been raised with the belief that everyone has someone that will make them whole, complete, and is the perfect mate for them. However, after 8 years of looking constantly for that someone, I had come to the conclusion, that I was supposed to be that one person in a million that wound up alone and pined for that missing part forever.

Then I met my darling love. The story of how we met is long and funny, but mostly it centered around her daughter. I had met them both, and was engaged in chasing her daughter with the idea of breaking her out of her bad marriage, at which point we would settle down and live happily ever after. But she said “you should meet my mother” at which point, I did.

It was immediately apparent that we would hit it off. She and I had similar interests in so many areas that it’s funny in a “Twilight Zone” kind of way. She had come to many of the same conclusions that I had come to based on dissimilar information. She’s also 16 years older than I am, and at the time many people around us thought that it would an insurmountable obstacle.

She and I continued to see each other, almost 24 hours a day in some cases, and I slept in my car while she worked. We went everywhere and did everything, talked to 6 AM on days she was off from work, which is extraordinary since she is a morning person, made love and took to spending all our time together.

Things started coming to a head about a month after we had met and began being together. I was getting restless and irritable. She knew that it was because I was going to leave her. She told me to tell myself that I would KNOW the answer as to why I was restless when I woke up one night, and she resigned herself to loosing me. See, she was already totally in love with me, and she didn’t want to ruin my life by pursuing me and shackling me to an old, fat lady.

I asked her to marry me that night at 2 AM.

The joy that was in her incandesced and lit up the pitch black room. It was not an optical illusion, because she saw it too. That is one of my most treasured memories.

We made plans to marry, and problems occurred, mainly with the parents of both of us. On November 14, we decided to elope, one week later, on the 21st, we were married in a quiet civil ceremony in which her granddaughter tried to eat her bouquet.

It’s been 10 years now, and it seems like 10 weeks at most. I’m still just as much in love with her as I was that day. I sometimes think I can’t breathe without her, and I occasionally look at her and wonder what the heck she sees in me. She is the reason I get up every morning, the reason I continue to grow instead of exist, and the half that makes me whole. She is that hitherto unnoticed, unmissed part of me that makes me a complete being, and allows me to become perfect. She does not demand that I change, she only points out problems that she sees, and I do the changing, without prompting from her. She is strong where I am weak (such as in the money), competent, beautiful, wonderful, and we compliment each other so well. There are several friends that we both have that look at us with envy sometimes seeing how good our relationship is.

Not that we don’t have our problems, but we always manage to work them out and come to some kind of compromise on that subject.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t look at her and thank all the higher powers that I met her.

I could wish that there was a medley available of the songs that describe how I feel for her, but the closest two are “I knew I loved you” by Savage Garden and “You’re Still The One” by Shania Twain, and while I know it’s not the usual thing to do, I would like you to play both of these for my wife, my darling, the love of my life, the half that makes me whole, my Mary.

Always and Forever.

Eric Landrum

MORE: For Mary

Originally posted 2013-03-29 12:35:53. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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